Your wedding vs. the royal wedding

Your wedding vs. the royal wedding

What's the difference between this week's wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton and everyone else's? Logistics and money.
The affair -- no, make that spectacle -- is rumored to cost as much as 80 million pounds, according to reports in the U.K. press which couldn't be verified. Security alone it is slated at 20 million pounds.
No matter how you measure it, the total costs are likely to dwarf the 4 million to 30 million pounds it reportedly American weddings typically cost about $27,000, according to the latest survey from TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com. That includes flowers, photography, music and party favors, and on these particular details there is little information available about the royal wedding. In all likelihood, the royal family will spend at least 10 times what the average American pays for such items.
However, there are many items the family won't have to pay for at all -- such as renting a reception venue, or hiring a caterer. As A-list celebrities, the royals also may get some nice discounts from wedding vendors.
A once-in-a-generation event
Just as with the wedding of Charles and Diana, the nuptials of William and Kate will be the wedding against which all other weddings for the next two decades will be judged. There is intense media interest in every detail, from the wedding dress to the cakes  to the brand of hosiery that Middleton will wear. A spokeswoman for Buckingham Palace declined to comment for this article. There is, however, an official wedding site with lots of details and plenty of video and photos to allow the public to share in the preparations.
Of course, the wedding reception will be a monumental undertaking. There are two parties -- a breakfast reception for 600 hosted by the queen and a dinner reception for about 300 hosted by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace. Many celebrities are expected to be in attendance, as well as some heads of state -- although not President Barack Obama, who wasn't invited because the wedding is not technically a state occasion. Not even the tiniest detail will be left to chance.
"Everything has to work like cogs in a wheel," says Linnyette Richardson-Hall, a high-end wedding planner who is a spokeswoman for the National Association of Catering Executives and a panelist on the Style Network's "Whose Wedding Is This Anyway?" "This is a time when perfection is needed."
The couple's families are footing the bill, a smart public relations move in cash-strapped Britain. Though Middleton's family is wealthy, the event seems to be mostly bankrolled by the royals. Getting the best of everything will not come cheap, but it is likely that some of the vendors associated with the wedding are rendering their services for discounted rates or for free because of the enormous publicity they will receive. That's common practice in the U.S. for celebrity weddings and high-profile events like the Oscars.

We Are Gathered Here Today...

As this is a national time of sharing gratitude I feel moved to give a very heartfelt thanks for the love of my family and friends. I usually might have climbed aboard my soapbox to point out some particular hypocritical or idiosyncratic elements of the holiday that have evolved from its origin to now, but I think we all sort of get it by now, right?

Last month on the auspicious day of 10-10-10, I was most honored to serve as the officiant for my younger sister's wedding. I was touched that they trusted my judgment to help create a ceremony that fit their character, held surprises, and made the already special day even more memorable for them. Their day ended up being practically perfect in every way. I have never seen my sister happier, glowing in fact. So many members of the family came together to make it work well and I was glad to have contributed my part.

The process of helping plan, organize, and give fresh perspectives for weddings is a type of creative consulting. I served as Man of Honor for one of my dearest friends several years ago, followed by being the Wedding Planner/ Stage Manager for two other dear friends, and offering up advice for rituals and unique twists for several other weddings. In a way, a wedding is really a type of theatrical event, one that focuses on the union of two co-stars, supported by a fancy dressed supporting cast, conducted/directed by an officiant, and with an audience of family and friends cheering them on. This metaphor was utilized for my sister's wedding, which took place on the outdoor Festival Stage in City Park, Iowa City -- but we had all the family members sit onstage instead of the audience seats, so they would be closer, more connected, and playing supporting roles.

Even though men of the cloth have a historical precedence of being gay, I wouldn't have served as officiant if Iowa had a ban on gay marriage. Fortunately though, in April of 2009 the Iowa Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage, so my heart felt clear to participate. However, Iowa is still in a hotbed of controversy over the ruling and three Supreme Court Justices were ousted during the recent elections.

I feel very fortunate that my family accepts me for who I am, and that they were comfortable and confident to chose me for the role. It is truly a shame that religious dogma and ignorance can come between families, and that this whole controversy still rages on. The timing of my trip home was not lost on me, as the nation woke up to the reality of gay suicides, I was reminded of my own challenging teenage experiences. While I can agree it gets better, I feel the more appropriate sentiment is that I got stronger, bolstered by the support of gay mentors and friends. I am so grateful for the love and support of my family, and pray that in time more and more families will come to love, understand and accept all of God's children.